Figuring Things Out and Work to be Done: Here I Go, Part Four

Here I Go…part four

Sometimes, I believed it wasn’t so.  

Then, I realize even with some unforeseen happenings popping up; I was indeed moving onward from those recent six years.

In every way. In all areas of my life.

(Not only health, wellness, and physical capacity wise, which is mainly focused on in these writings.)

When I was healing up from my last significant surgery in late spring and early summer, I had so many ideas of what would happen as of later May and early June and onward.

My idea of how that would go was almost a visualization of me bursting into my life, surfing a magical rainbow light beam, and leaping into all that I wanted to do and some things I had left behind.

BAM! It was that powerful of thought for me.

When you begin, begin with magic. Begin with the sun. begin with the grass

My brain had brilliantly skipped over all the methodical thingys and step-by-step building-ups in every life area. The longing-for part of my brain changed it into simply jumping past all of that into a masterful production of myself all at once.

Don’t get me wrong, since late May, I have taken giant leaps, made significant decisions, cleaved the unimportant, and jumped into a few seemly impossible things.

Mostly though, I have met one obstacle after the next.

I bounced right off a few of these obstacles straight into the ground then back into the obstacle. Ouch! Stubbornness, impatience, and longing for different triumphed for a short time. I strongly wanted different after about six years of otherness.

It is essential to know that I am part imaginer and dreamer with a slight pause between believing that I can do something and trying it out. One of my favorite questions is “why not?” instead of asking “why?”.

Why Not?

I found out a few times since June that some paths worked, others did not. Slowly, I came to appreciate that my mind was just protecting me. Somewhere in there, it knew I just had to make a few mistakes.

I unhelpfully forced myself into different by skipping a few steps briefly. I thought the thoughts of myself pre-six years ago, not me of now. The Now-Me needed the opportunity to embrace more transition.

I needed to harness the Me that has been doing all that hard work the past six years, healing up and laying the foundation for now.  The Me of pivoting, adapting, and working at resilience.

But, at first, all I wanted to do was forget about those past six years. I will be honest with you; a small part of me thought I deserved it easy for a while.

I know Life doesn’t owe me anything. Yet, I felt a bit sorry for myself, wallowing in entitlement and indulging in self-pity. I let it be for a bit, felt how I felt, and then worked at getting over myself.

I knew that my body needed to learn to trust itself again, and I needed to learn to trust the wisdom in my body and not override that wisdom with too much desire for other.  THAT, I found out, is hard to do!

My Body leads the way, I trust in my Body.
My Body leads the way, I trust in my Body.

I need to know and fully practice that it is okay to be where I am. I am okay enough. I can streamline my life, take it slower, and effort more in focused areas. Get some guiding tips in creating shifts, Here

I am working at believing that even though I may have temporary tinkerings, a minor injury, or body issues arise, it is temporary, and I can handle it.

Each time something arises, it does not mean that I am starting over or repeating the past six years.

It has taken me some work to honestly believe that, and even now, at times, I forget. My head tells me-whoa, here we go again, another five or six years.

It makes sense as my life for the past six years is fresh in my memory. So, it feels so familiar and safe to go there. It’s easy and comfortable to think that way even though it is unhelpful.

Now, it is not my reality. Nor where I want to stay.

Drink from the Well of Yourself and Begin Again

Through these experiences, though, I understand how it is so easy to become that identity of yourself as unwell. It’s so familiar. It’s harder to make a change and do differently, even if It may be the absolute best thing for you.

It’s easy to embrace being sedentary, uncomfortable in most ways, and live life with that being your truth. You know how to do that.  Even though you may have healed up or “that” injury is resolved. It can be much easier to stay there.

It is exceptionally challenging to tell yourself that it is okay to do things a bit differently now. That It’s okay to move around and test out the waters of my body. That it’s okay to step out into a world that is so different and try to be part of it again.

I know that you get it; we see this in every area of our lives –sticking to a way of thinking or believing because it is comfortable or what we have always done or what we were taught over and over.

We all do that, and it’s okay. Often, the outcome isn’t so helpful for us; but we stick with it anyway.

figuring out how to untie all those stuck knots!
Figuring out how to untie all those stuck knots!

So, it’s easy to see how right it would seem to reuse all those habits and ways I had over the past six years to now. It’s what I have known lately. And it was everything that I needed at that time.

It’s what I have known lately.
And it was everything that I needed at that time.

It is arduous to think, believe and declare differently, create shifts, and do something different. And I am trying to do that work in ALL my life areas. Don’t worry though, it is shifting slowly!

I use quite a few practical practices to help me with this that have become a natural part of my life. I lean on these practices heavily when I hit a wall, become frustrated, or need to navigate another obstacle.

These practices that I use are literally rewiring my brain as I go through each experience. So funky to think that, but’s it’s so true!

Some things are moving more slowly than others, especially as I do this while COVID and other circumstances exist.

I did a brief stint of trying to impact every area of my life all at once and left myself spinning with the complexity.  I did it anyway, knowing it wouldn’t work well.

Eight life Areas

There just isn’t enough hours in the day to equally invest in every area of your life. Let alone rebuild aspects of it. So, I figured out how to move onward in a way that works for me. I reflected and evaluated a bit more, prioritizing a few key life areas while still being involved in others.

For You to Explore:  Learn about all your Life Areas Here, Plus enjoy a worksheet for you to use with it!

So, even though I’m not writing extensively about family, reconnecting with old friends, making new friends, adapting my professional path, money mindset, community-based work, or love and relationships; all are part of my life and work their way in here and there.

Why? Because all of our life is interwoven and connected. One thing leads to everything, as all we do matters.

Working in any area of your life involves mindset, perception, and thus creating your envisioned life.  So even though I focus on wellness most of the time while writing to you, the methods, ideas, and ways I might use can be applied to any area of life.

Our Life is Our Practice

We build our life and the life we envision minute by minute, step by step.

Not through one gigantic leap or awe-inspiring commitment or a huge investment of money in a program or certification. Even though big leaps matter.

Hour by hour, day by day, by being who we truly are in a deliberate way. How we spend our days and what we do shows us what we value and are committed to.

These seconds, minutes, and hours that we live our lives and take even the smallest steps are what gives us confidence, resilience, and the capacity to take those huge jumps or try something that seems impossible.

So, just know that taking tiny steps creates the most profound change. It’s doable, and small investments add up. They compound, and they are exponential. We build momentum.

When you try something new, especially when your life is full, you must create momentum.

We build awareness so we can take action that matters. It is not always about doing, doing, doing. Sometimes the most helpful thing is to pause or rest instead of doing more.

Create something new, one step at a time.

Know that it takes more effort to start from where you are. It can feel hard to take the first step.  At first, I kept ignoring where I was and thinking that I could do what I might have before my accident and medical needs developed. It was not helpful!

After you start, it gets easier because your growth and momentum are exponential.  You do one tiny thing. Build confidence. Build your track record. Create the outcome you want over time.

If you don’t know that even doing one small thing can feel complex or demanding.  You are more likely not to begin, stop, and think it’s impossible to find the time. So, consider knowing and deciding ahead of time that it will be a little bit challenging and that’s okay. You can try it anyway.

Weave what you want into being
Weave what you want into being

Know that, even with “it’s too much or I can’t do it” thoughts, it is doable. Know that thinking new thoughts, creating new ways take time–and that’s okay.

I often use a version of this statement to help me begin something: 

  • “I know that I may not feel ready, or I might have resistance to doing______. And that’s okay. I know this will help me feel better, and I can do it for just a little bit. Today”

I found that figuring out the simplest thing to help myself when healing up was profound for me as my energy and capacity were minimal.

Get a PDF of Practical Statements with some tips, Here

So, if it was simple, I could do it repeatedly. A lot of times, simple felt difficult for me but still doable.

This is why I encourage you to try this way, especially if you have feelings of overwhelm, stress, over-busy, and not having any extra time.

The simpler we make things, the richer our experiences become. 

A small step might fit in for you; even if it seems like a lot-you can probably still try it out without a considerable investment.

Especially if you are intentional and deliberately declare to yourself why you might be doing this instead of forcing yourself. (We already know that willpower does not work for long-lasting shifts!)

Why not ask yourself some questions to put some meaning in those small shifts?

Questions to ask:

  • How can I do a little bit?
  • So what if I think I can’t do it?
  • Why not do a little bit to try it?
  • What do I want more of?
  • What do I want less of?
  • What If I give it a try?
  • Why not give it a try?
  • How can I help myself  (do) ________?

I focused on envisioning myself changing and shifting moment by moment. I have found that whenever I try to help myself in any way, it matters for me to commit and be deliberate. This brings in your awareness, mindset, and a perceptive process approach.

All the steps, pauses, shifts, and pivots figuring out next steps or adapting to a physical or wellness circumstance during this next year offer me that opportunity.

Meaning Matters
Meaning Matters

Doing that, investing in it, and committing to it deliberately sets the foundation for all those massive leaps that I take. And will continue to take.

When I say tiny steps, small shifts, little by little, I do not mean that we are not challenging ourselves or stepping a bit outside of where we feel most comfortable.

How you live your life is what you are committed to.

Why not take a small step in a supportive easy way? Here’s how:

I think of this practice as linking. It’s a straightforward way to help you follow through with what you want to do. How? Add what you want to do immediately after or part of something you already do easily.

Do This:

After I ____, I will ____.

  • Example:
    • After I finish dinner, I will take a few slow breaths.
    • After I get ready for bed, I will sit for a few minutes.
    • After I brush my teeth, I will take a few slow breaths to relax

Make sure that whatever you link or add in is easy and doable as you begin, a tiny simple step. You can even set up a physical reminder. For example, have a pillow ready to use to take a few relaxing breaths.

St. Bernard napping
Leela the St. Bernard linking actions: “After I take a nap, I will take another nap.”

I often take my giant leaps in more bite-size pieces each day, working towards what I need and envision. No matter what I am doing, it impacts all the parts of my life.

Try this out too:
Another practical method I use is objective minimums. I love them. They work for me pretty well.

When I am getting started, feel like I don’t have time or have substantial resistance, I like to use these. Remember, taking the first step is the hardest because you need to build momentum. After that, it flows.

How to do it:

  • I tell myself that I will do “_____” for 10 minutes with a minimum of 5 minutes. (Or any time frame that works for me).
  • My focus is less rigid or restrictive when I do this, and it feels more doable. I know I can invest 5 minutes. Or whatever the minimum is.
  • Most of the time, I end up doing more than 5 minutes. When I get going, I realize that I feel good; this is helping me. I can do this.
We create our envisioned life day by day

Story-time:
This method worked incredibly for me while I was trying to build health and physical capacity through my recent six years of surgeries, procedures, and healing up.

I would tell myself; I can do anything for 2 minutes. At that time, 2 minutes of doing anything was a lot for me. Over time, I slowly felt better and would increase my time, whether it was practicing breathwork, walking, or doing other activities.

Often, due to my many procedures and surgeries, I would begin again and again. Each time was a bit easier but still challenging as I needed to build momentum again.

The difference was that I had been consistently creating a resilient and adaptable mindset by deliberately approaching the small steps taken.

What mattered is that I committed and invested in doing it. And I did it just a little bit at a time.

Approaching shifts this way also creates the space for big leaps and builds confidence to take those leaps.

Things are bit under construction here!!

By doing this, you give yourself some pause and space so that there is less overwhelm, stress, and feelings of busyness.

The fantastic thing is that you can take small actions while living your full life making shifts you want. That is precisely what I am trying to do!

How we spend our days is how we spend our life. 

To be continued…


In gratitude,

Heather's Signature

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